goodbyes

For whatever reason, it just struck me today that school is over. It's officially summer (well, not officially, actually, but it might as well be) and it completely snuck up on me. Time for everyone to go on their merry summer ways. Or, in my case, not.

Yesterday Maya and I went over to my friend Laura's apartment. Laura had all kinds of food that she didn't want to take home, so she gave a ton of random stuff to us. It was actually really exciting.

Today I went over to my friends' apartment to help them pack, clean, sort, etc. Terra and Lilli both had stuff everywhere when I arrived early afternoon; it was kind of amazing that as much got done as it did tonight. Mostly, I felt like I was just keeping them company, I didn't really do a lot of work. Especially after Terra brought out her wine and I accidentally drank too much of it. I was just enjoying its cold fruitiness and forgot that I basically hadn't eaten anything today... whoops! Tipsiness was not part of the game plan today, but sometimes these things happen. Anyways, not much thanks to me the second half of the night, they're pretty much moved out now. Well, Terra is moved out and Lil will be tomorrow. They both gave us a bunch of food too.

Then came the hard part... we had to say goodbye to Terra. It hit me all of a sudden, the way it does... I am a pretty rare crier - probably only once every three to six months, but when I do cry, it tends to be rather abrupt and I rarely see it coming.

Terra is going to France next year for study abroad and unless I decide to pick up and visit her sometime - which is unlikely, considering the state of my finances - I won't see her til the fall of 2008. A year and four months sounds like a very long time right now. I don't know, it was just hard. I'm going to miss her a lot. I had to work very hard to not have a complete breakdown after she left.

Tomorrow, Laura leaves. Maya and I are going to say goodbye in the morning, but that's going to be hard, too... she's studying abroad in Australia until next November. Six months isn't nearly as long, so I think this goodbye will be easier. I hope.

But then Maya's going to leave... and I don't even know how I'm going to handle that. She's only going to Mexico for six weeks, but it still sounds terribly long. She's such a constant presence in my life now that I don't know what I'll do without her. Lilli's moving in, which is great, because I really think I'd break down if I had to live alone. Don't get me wrong, I love myself and I love my alone time, but I need to feel like I have some kind of family to come home to. And no, Nermal doesn't really count. Anyways... I know it'll be fine without Maya, I mean, we made it all last summer, all winter break and all spring break without each other, but the difference this time is that we both aren't leaving... it's just her.

It's weird, though... all the food everyone "donated" to us makes me feel safe. Maybe it's just because I'm like one of those grandmas. The ones that always make you sure you eat seconds, because in their minds, food = love. My friends wouldn't leave me their food (even their half-used mustards, random teabags and jars of olives) unless they really loved me, right? Right. Which means they'll be back, and my sadness isn't really as necessary as it might seem. So when they get back from all their adventures, I'll help them move home to Eugene. And then I'll share my food with them. And hopefully my wine, because God knows I'm not drinking any of the stuff the next time I try to haul boxes all over everyplace.