paradise way

So, as usual, many remarkable things have happened since I have last posted. Among them:

-attending Stars of the Future, the Ghanaian version of American Idol, where it was gospel night and fans booed every time a judge criticized anyone
-going to a crazy nightclub named Makumba wherein some level of debauchery definitely occurred... although I, of course, was not involved at all... :)
-saying goodbye to our illustrious leader, Leslie, and taking her to Wazoo
-playing hooky from work to clean the house, watch out for my friends and spend a lazy afternoon at a pool way too nice to be believed

But what I am choosing to tell you about is, I think, the most interesting... going to church.

My friend Josh, who works at Peace FM, a popular radio station which broadcasts almost exclusively in Twi (pronounced "chwee") language, has endeared himself to his coworkers and scored an invite to church on Sunday with his coworker Akua (pronounced, I think, "ah-kwi-yah"). That is actually not so hard to do here, as this country is pretty much obsessed with Jesus, and as Josh is Jewish, he is a pretty obvious target for conversion or what have you.

Anyways, I was eager to check out church here myself, seeing as I am pretty much obsessed with the exploration of religion in general, so I offered to join him.

After dragging ourselves unceremoniously out of bed to catch a series of tro-tros to a faraway part of Accra on Sunday morning, we found ourselves facing the usual problem: a situation that makes absolutely no sense.

We were set to meet Akua at the Blue Kiosk tro-tro stop, which mysteriously did not involve any kind of actual blue kiosk. There was a purple kiosk, which was labeled "Blue Kiosk," but it seemed that the name denoted the general area more than just a specific random nonexistent blue stand.

Then we waited for her to meet us (no one here is ever ever on time) for at least 20 minutes, probably a lot longer, and had almost given up when she pulled up in a taxi and we hopped in.

The church was called "Paradise Way" something something, and occupied a rather fantastic building, considering... we met Akua's sister, also named Akua... rather confusing but Ghanaian tribes tend to name their kids according to the day of the week they were born on and apparently both sisters were born on the same day of the week... bizarre. Anyways, Josh and I were most definitely the only white people for miles and probably also the only non-Christians for miles (Side-note: though Unity is technically Christian-affiliated, I definitely don't see myself fitting in that way... I suppose I am very loosely a Christian, but I wouldn't say that I was any more Christian than I am Hindu, Buddhist, Taoist, Muslim or what have you).

Anyways, the service already seems to be going. Lots of gospel-style choir singing in English and Twi, and lots of ladies in their finest Ghanaian dress. Lots of different pastors yelling excitedly about Bible verses and the importance of prayer. After some preachers yelled in English for a while, another would translate into Twi, although I think some stuff was lost in translation... the English-speaking guy would go on for 10 minutes and the Twi guy would only talk for one.

Josh and I, sandwiched in a row between the two Akuas, shot each other faces with different levels of surprise/shock expressed at what was occurring around us... at one point, a woman started wailing somewhere behind us and though I don't think Paradise Way was pentecostal the preacher did start shouting about the glory of Jesus flowing through her. Holy moly.

When hymns were being sung in Twi, the first Akua leaned over and whispered to Josh a summary of the meaning of the song. Then, Josh would lean over and repeat what she said to me, which always seemed overly simplified but we really didn't have any way to know otherwise. Most of them were descriptions like: "This is a song about how praying is important and God loves it when you pray" or "This is a song about how Jesus shows us the way" but one translation was alarming in a way the others weren't...

I stared at Josh incredulously as he slowly repeated what Akua had just matter-of-factly told him: "This is a song about how we used to have many gods here, with the traditional religions, but that these gods were false and we are so glad that the white man came and brought us the one true god."

Josh and I squeezed hands and pretended to accept this information unquestioningly, though I was actually feeling more guilty than I had since we visited the slave castles at Cape Coast. Not many people here seem to harbor resentment for white people, which really just accentuates the white guilt I feel sometimes.

Sometimes everyone got so into the hymns that everyone was dancing as well as singing along. There were balconies made to hold more people, but there wasn't really anyone up there but the ushers, and at one point I looked up to see two of them breaking it down to the rhythm of the choir. Fantastic!

At some point, they called all new attendees up to the front of the church to pray with them. Josh muttered something about how his grandmother was going to kill him, which just made me laugh. They didn't try to baptize us or anything, nothing too weird really... they did have us fill out forms about ourselves, which included a line for prayer requests... Josh's, of course, was "Ducks Victory."

After church was over, finally, three hours later (one hour of Jesus just ain't enough for these people), we piled outside where the Akuas invited us back to their house. An ice cream guy was right outside the church and amidst a crowd of eager children, Josh and I rather sheepishly bought FanChocos - frozen chocolate milk popsicles they sell for 40 pesewas (about 40 cents).

Akua from Peace FM was a sweetheart. We chatted on the way back to her house. I hadn't been invited to a Ghanaian's house before and it was a pretty exciting occasion.

She led us inside and introduced us to her mother. The house was pretty nice (relatively), and I was embarrassed to note how clean it was compared to our house here. There were two televisions in the living room and Akua turned one on to a channel with anime before going out to buy us some cookies and Cokes. She announced that her mother was making us kenke, a Ghanaian meal neither of us had tried yet.

We were there for hours and I honestly couldn't really tell you what we did. Akua came in and out of the room, we looked through some family photo albums, and waited as wafts of aroma floated in from the kitchen... and somehow stayed entertained otherwise. The kenke finally arrived - kenke itself is a maize (corn) concoction somewhat like a dry playdough. You don't eat it alone, though, you sort of mash it up (only using your right hand, of course) and use it to scoop up the accompanying sauce, which in this case was made of onion, chicken, goat, and some other things I would be hard-pressed to name. It was spicy and really really good, though Josh and I mostly skirted the goat. I tried it once early in the meal out of politeness and swore discreetly to Josh I'd never eat the stuff again. Later, however, feeling bad for leaving food on the plate ("we don't waste food!") and about how our hostess would feel about it, I tried again, with similar results, and finally gave up.

After we'd finished, Akua's mother thanked us for coming (we hadn't talked to her yet at all) and told us she was a prophetess. (Nothing surprises me anymore...) She told Josh that in his future he would be blessed with a lot of money and that he would use it to travel the world and also to help people, because he has a good heart. Then, haha, she looked at me and simply said my future is blessed.

More or less that was the end of the excursion that occupied the majority of Sunday. Talk about a cultural experience. I wish I had enough Sundays here to go to other churches around here and check them out, but I think I got at least one decent taste.

Tomorrow I'm heading to Sodom and Gomorrah, a really intense slum. I should have some stuff to say about that. It'll be my first independent article for the Observer, but don't worry anyone, I'm going with Michelle and a great guide.

TTFN